As a parent I always wonder if I am good enough, if I am raising my child the right way, if there are things I should have done better or differently

Just the other day I told my daughter that she should run faster, she should have that competition drive in her. She told me there is no competition inside her and this made me think of everything I have said and done since the day she was born. Maybe, and just maybe I should have raised her with a different mentality. Maybe I should have told her to strive to be better instead of telling her she is good enough. What if she’ll have no drive in life and she’ll just float around the mid/bottom line of things?

Don’t get me wrong. I am proud of her and the things she has achieved so far but those words stung. They hurt me and they made me question my parenting skills and my own upbringing. I refused to raise her the way I was because it was wrong. I was made to believe that no matter what I do I will never be good enough for my parents. My mum made sure to remind me that every time I did something wrong (sort of like getting an A instead of an A+). Growing up I gave up on all dreams and had no drive in me. I didn’t care when I didn’t get in to the University I wanted. It was fine, I could go to a different one and study something similar. Later on I got a job and didn’t care about the rest. I just floated around, did my job and never thought about how good I was because that’s how I was raised. I had no trust in myself. I had no confidence whatsoever…

So, you see … I wanted my daughter to know that she is good enough, that she is worth it! And she definitely is. But, what is the secret of raising a determined child? Is there one?

Maybe a babied her too much. She certainly is not an adventurous one and she just wants to be a good girl. But is this a good thing? Should I just allow her to rebel from time to time? To just express herself and be whoever she feel like she is?

She was taught to listen and be good. To just do things the way mummy or daddy do. But is she her own person? Is she who she really wants to be?