That’s how every mom feels at some point in her life. I mean you tell me just how many times did you look at the laundry basket and asked yourself if you’ll ever see the bottom of it? How many times did you take a proper look at your house and planned on cleaning it top to bottom and ended up cuddling your baby, sterilising endless bottles or cooking ten meals so your child will refuse them all and ask for something else completely? How many times did you plan a million things and ended up holding your phone scrolling endlessly through facebook and instagram while sipping a well deserved glass of wine?
I can tell you I have done all the above so many times I literally lost track.
The only problem is that although I am ok with it it does cause me so much stress. And not the normal type of stress but mummy stress and this is a million times more powerful than daily stress caused by work or other bullshit like that.
Studies have shown our relationship with our kids is dependent on our ability to manage stress, so it’s in our best interest to take care of ourselves by effectively managing this problem.
Easier said than done, right? I KNOW
Many of us are working mothers, we deal with everyday parent worries, we are extremely busy and face countless external pressures.
Even if I don’t quite admit it, I fell in the instagram perfect mum trap when I had my daughter. It caused me anxiety and took me a long time to realise that nothing is perfect and that I will never ever have my before pregnancy body. And I am fine with that because I feel stronger and fitter than ever at this point in my life and I can laugh at all perfect Susans out there showing off their perfect lives only to hide their insecurities.
So, one way to cope with mummy stress is to 1. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF WITH ANY OTHER MOTHER OUT THERE.
What works for you doesn’t work for everyone. You are unique and amazing as you are so concentrate on making your little one happy because this is the most important thing in life after all.
2. I always found that EXERCISING helps me enormously. It reduces so much stress and burns out calories as well (we all know how many calories wine can have). It keeps me in shape and also makes me feel more positive and more energetic. It also helps me that I found an amazing mum group to share my fitness fails and accomplishments with and also involving my daughter in my activity. It’s so much fun and positive.
3. TAKE A BREAK from time to time. Motherhood is hard, stressing, frustrating and sometimes infuriating.
Going out with and having some time off mummy duties is such a blessing. It doesn’t matter if you go in a park, if you go for dinner or just drinks as long as you grab that ME TIME and make the most of it. Have a laugh with your friends and forget laundry and cleaning and baby stuff. You’ll feel so energised and you’ll appreciate yourself and your life more.
4. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS – yes. You heard me. Stop trying to be perfect. Motherhood and productivity don’t go hand in hand very well. Learn to let go of perfectly folded clothes, dust free house corners, perfect kitchen and dishes washed at all times. You are a mother, you have a child or two or three or more. Your house is going to be a mess most of the times. Toys will be everywhere and I swear they multiply on daily basis. Kids clothes will just add and add until you got no storage space for them, your empty glass of wine from last night will be found on the table or in the living room somewhere every morning. Your hair won’t be washed as often, your nails won’t be done on regular basis and your wardrobe will mostly contain leggings, baggy tops and the piece of resistance: TRAINERS, specially converse because they are so damn comfortable (your heels will be put somewhere in the back of the closet only to be tried on from time to time). – google mum shoes if you don’t believe me
So this is how I cope with mummy stress. You find your thing. Whatever works because you need to cope with it somehow. Even if it’s hiding in the bathroom reading a book and sipping wine on the false pretence you got a dodgy stomach.