Having a full of energy seven months old baby leaves me with just about enough free time to breath, do the dishes and have a shower. Rest is just a bonus if and when it happens. While pregnant I dreamed of this perfect maternity leave where everything is a beautiful poem, pink clouds and cute baby outfits. Reality? So far from what I thought. They all said things will get easier after the first three months. It did for a while. Until my baby started to discover the world, to see everything around and develop an insane desire for knowledge. She is at that stage when all is interesting and independence is key word. On a certain level Ruby is still very attached to me and wants me around at all times but I started to notice some changes. Preference for toys she never liked before, time to play on her own and a very changeable sleep pattern. And with this comes my exasperation as I never know what she wants so we end up annoyed sometimes. I mean she is over seven months now. When is she going to get a job and move out? (Inside joke)

But never mind this. I started thinking of all the things I judged other mums for, of all the things I swore I would never do with my child or allow my child to do. Until few months ago I looked at women who try and calm their kids down by giving them a tablet to play with and I judged them and judged them until I ended up judging myself for judging them. 

I got so angry at the ones who looked so annoyed by their own children and specially the ones who shove biscuits in the pushchair for babies to find it and make a mess all over themselves. With the last I still have an issue as I hate mess and it does my head in but hey, everyone is free to raise their little ones as they think best. 

With these and my baby growing I can only say I did change. A lot. We wake up around 6:30 am and instinctively I turn on the TV, instinctively on Tiny Pop. It’s the time when all Truck Town, Rescue Bots, My little Pony and Maya the Bee are on so I can keep my Ruby busy for at least half hour so I can have my coffee and get her milk ready. If someone would have told me I would be happy leaving my child in front of the TV before she is two years old at least I would have laughed in their face and roll over on the floor breathless from all laughter. 

If someone would have told me I would leave her in front of a tablet watching Disney videos on YouTube so I can get her food ready or just take a breath I would have laughed again or put my bitch face on and tell them to talk to the hand in a very “elegant” mode.  

I mean I had this image in my head that my child will not watch TV until she is at least two, she would never play with a tablet, remote control, mobile phone or any other devices until later on. My child will be educated, will have toys from Early Learning Centre, the ones that help her develop her attention, mobility, and all senses at ones. She would prefer books to TV and she will have this delicate princess behaviour and everyone will absolutely adore her. She will be the perfect child and have proper manners and know how to be well behaved in society. 

Dream on mummy! Dream on! You know what the reality is? I don’t always have time or patience to play the same game over and over again for hours to amuse Ruby; I let her watch Tiny Pop as much as she likes, she has a proper obsession with tags so she sucks on them until she gets a rash around her mouth (there it goes her princess look), she scratches her forehead God knows for what reason so it’s always full of marks, she likes to bounce up and down when you hold her and she has a proper misbehaving look in her eyes that will instinctively make you think she will be trouble as a toddler. She likes to get food all over her clothes and laughs like crazy when she manages to put it in her hair and I look at her in despair counting how many outfits I already changed for the day. She is a boyish little girl who will never ever be a princess (unless she marries little George) like I wanted. She is the type of child who will pull your hair and slap you to get what she wants (I hope not but by the looks of it we are heading that way). She is the baby who takes ages to fall asleep and never through the night cause why would she? Why would I not be on my feet twenty four seven? She likes to keep me active so I won’t get fat. 

There are so many things I swore I will never do and here I am in the middle of them, embracing them and loving them. As long as they keep my baby happy I have nothing against them. In mummy land everything is good and nothing is wrong. And for all these I would never ever be disappointed in my child. She can be naughty, boyish, throw tantrums and all sorts. She is mine and none of you have the right to judge the way she will grow. I know I won’t judge any of you from now on. Mummy land is the place where everything is allowed

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