Teething sucks. I mean I always had teeth problems and I always hated a horrible toothache that led me to a root canal and sometimes I swear that that pain was worse than the one I had when giving birth. I am not sure but I remember I did say it once so it must be true specially as it happened only three months after I had Ruby so all memories regarding labour were fresher than now.
What is worse than all these? Your baby teething. I swear it is so exhausting and nerve racking. I have been at work on Tuesday and Wednesday. Last night I came from work after eight hours of freezing at my desk, standing on my feet wearing shit uncomfortable shoes I thought would be perfect and dealing with people who got no idea how to tie their own shoelaces but think they rule the world and are entitled to everything (tough shit if you ran into me yesterday. I hate your attitude so you most definitely left pissed of swearing at me) to a screaming overtired baby suffering with abandonment issues (or she’s just not fully used to being two days a week in nursery). I did not have the chance to change my clothes as she got so desperate when she saw me. I took her in my arms trying to calm her down and eventually get her to bed.
I felt her little body pressed against mine and I forgot about how tired I was, I forgot about my back killing me and all bad things in the world.

She fell asleep and for few minutes I just rocked her slowly not only for her comfort but my own as well. It felt so peaceful and reassuring

I charged my batteries and said to myself “I can do it. It’s not that bad”. I kissed her forehead and the little hand holding my arm so tight to make sure I won’t let her go. But I did. I put her in bed and that was the end of it. The crying came back, this time accompanied by a Bambi look begging me to pick her up again. And I did and it wasn’t as good as before because she was fidgety and noisy and my arms were too weak. My brain was spinning and I did not know what to do. So I held her and walked around the room for about half hour. She fell asleep and an hour later she was in her bed peaceful and calm like nothing ever happened.
And there I was dead tired dreaming of a glass of wine (it was water in the end as I promised myself I won’t have alcohol for a while).

I never knew teething is such a bitch

My child woke up all night crying. About ten thousand times. Thing is she would calm down and go back to sleep in a second whereas I was left there in the dark rolling from one side to the other trying to fall asleep. And you know Murphy’s laws? They fucking work. The minute I would fall asleep I would hear the cry again and again. Had an amazing night but somehow I was thinking she will sleep in and I would get the chance to close my eyes towards morning. But no. She woke up at 7 am screaming. I held her in my arms and the fidgeting came back. I went from bedroom to living room, on the sofa, rocking chair, walking around and trying to sit down while hoping she will stop. An hour and a half later she lifted her head and stared at me. She smiled and started mumbling like it’s the happiest day of her life.
I gave her the morning milk and I had my coffee (I made it twice as strong). She was so full of energy and so happy I almost forgot about how annoyed I’ve just been. But never mind cause few hours later it all started again. I decided on taking her out for a walk as she is easily distracted by people and cars. Only I was in for a surprise when she started screaming her head off while I was waiting in a cue to pay for the stuff I got for her in Boots. She ruined my plan. We were supposed to leave the shopping center and stop at Starbucks for a coffee while she would play happily on the sofa and have some milk. Instead I had to rush and find a sitting area (not taken by all pensioners who decided to go for a stroll into INTU Watford). It wasn’t easy but eventually I found an empty bench by Disney store. I got the milk ready and I knew that the second she would see it she would calm down and forget. Only she didn’t. She was fighting me, slapping my hands to let me know she is not interested in having any milk. I was so confused. She loves her milk. On a usual day that wasn’t today. She refused it so many times I gave up. I fed her some puffballs and tried to get home as quick as possible. I was getting nervous so I found myself almost running. She obviously fell asleep cause Murphy is my friend and these things only happen to me. I had to walk around my building so I won’t wake her up.
Lovely day so far.
It’s almost 3 pm and I am starving by now. I want food not coffee.
Ruby finally woke up so we went upstairs and I got her lunch ready. She’s been fussy although I thought she would be starving by now. She had her food and desert and went into needy play mode. I have to be the monkey to hold her, allow her to stuck fingers in my mouth, scratch me with those annoyingly sharp nails and pull my hair while she laughs her ass off thinking this is so creaking hilarious. It felt good. I love it so much when she is like this. It gets me exhausted but it is so rewarding. Two hours we played and it was amazing. She switched to grumpy so suddenly I was so confused. I didn’t know what to do and what she wants. I tried to get her closer to 6:30 so she can go bed but it become something close to mission impossible. I got the milk ready while she was screaming. I tried to be as quick as possible. The second she felt the milk in her mouth things went from bad to worse. She clenched her mouth and started slapping me over my hands in protest. I picked her up and she fell asleep instantly. I left her in bed thinking she’ll wake up later on to drink it. I didn’t get to the door and she woke up crying again. Took her in my arms and she fell asleep again in half a second. Only this time I couldn’t sit down. I had to walk around the house so she can sleep. And it lasted another almost three hours.

Teething sucks big time

I hate it.
I could see she was in pain, her cheeks were red and she could barely breath as she has such a runny snotty nose. It breaks my heart seeing her like this specially as I have no idea what to do. I rubbed some Bonjela on her gums but I wasn’t sure it would do something.
When I got worried she woke up and went into play mode again. She watched Disney videos, had some biscuits and had a good laugh getting me more and more confused. An hour she smiled and ate and made a mess all over herself I had to strip her down and get her changed. She refused milk this time as well but I wasn’t thinking she would have it anyways.

As quickly as she woke up she got sleepy as well. I took her to bed and for more than half hour I tried to get her to sleep. She cried, she rubbed her eyes and sucked on her fingers for what felt like eternity. I found myself trying to finish this post while my eyes are closing and Ruby  keeps losing her dummy and wakes up crying every twenty minutes or so.
It’s going to be such a long night. I am sleepy and my back hurts and no matter how long she will sleep for I have to be on full speed when she wakes up.

PS: I almost know she will wake up around 5 am and I will have to hold her and rock her around the house hoping her tooth will come out and I’ll get my baby back – happy and playful as always.

UPDATE: I did not manage to post this last night. I was busy holding Ruby in my arms from around eight until eight this morning. My arms are sore, my neck hurts, I did not sleep at all and my lower back is literally killing me. She was crying in her sleep and she got feverish at some point. She refused milk since yesterday morning and water as well so I am not sure what to do. Health visitor said it’s normal so all I can do is hold her tight and hope those damn teeth will come out sooner than later. Her tiny hands are so hot and she clings to me like I am the one responsible for her pain. Nothing seems to work for her and I am running out of ideas. 😦