Just few days ago I find myself randomly talking to a lady in a cue in Sainsbury’s. We both had the kids with us so obviously the subject did not go past motherhood.
My daughter was in the stroller making a fuss about wanting something while I was making efforts to shove everything in bags and not be the annoying woman holding the cue and wasting their time (I do get annoyed when people are slow in a supermarket checkout and I get so aware of the fact that other might curse me up for it as well).
This lady smiled at me and she only said: “I miss this stage so much. If only they’d stay this cute forever”.
These few words got me thinking so much. I got angry at her because maybe she just completely forgot how tiring, difficult, frustrating and also annoying a three year old can be. I know I always talk amazingly about my daughter and she is cute and adorable but God, she does have her moments and she is fussy as well.
Raising a three year old is HARD. Being a mother to a three year old is hard.
But see, I realised that I forgot as well. I told my pregnant friends: “This is the easy part! Wait until the baby is born and you will realise just how hard that is.” – I would call myself a biatch here because I FORGOT!!!!
I enjoyed my pregnancy but it was hard. I suffered from sciatica from 23 weeks on and I couldn’t sleep, walk much or sit much as a matter of fact. With all this I had to work full time, stand eight hours a day at a desk facing people and pretending I love my life. I FORGOT how huge I felt, how slow I was and how I cried every day for eating and being sick.
When I was a new mother I was told “It’s such a walk in the park when they are this small! Wait until they start moving around” Well lady, let me tell you something. YOU FORGOT HOW HARD MOTHERHOOD IS when you got no clue what you are doing, when you wake up fully responsible for a human being, when your hormones are all over the place and you forget when was the last time you washed your hair or simply if your child sucked your right or left boob three hours ago.
MOTHERHOOD IS HARD AT ANY STAGE
Another time, when my daughter was about seven, maybe eight months old I took her to a coffee shop. I stopped there to grab a coffee and feel normal for half hour. Ruby was sitting on the sofa with me, being all adorable with her teething toys around.
An older lady looked at me with nostalgic eyes and said: “Pray she’ll stay this age forever. When they grow up you worry too much” – NO SHIT! How did I give her the impression that I am a laid back mother who has no worries whatsoever? SHE FORGOT! MOTHERHOOD IS HARD AT ANY STAGE – I was not sleeping back then, my anxiety was over the roof, I was worried about my daughter’s feeds, sleep, development, lack of crawling because everyone who had kids told me she is a bit late with her moving around. I was scared I am not a good enough mother and there she was making it worse by telling me it should be easy.
I can give you millions of examples. Some are mine and some I got to taste the bitterness of but I think the idea is one for all the moms who forget different stages of motherhood.
Pregnancy is hard, tiring and so stressful.
Being a new mother is damn lonely, frustrating and hard – filled with joy and laughter as well but definitely hard.
Having a crawling/moving baby is also difficult. Sucks the energy out of you, makes you go crazy about child proofing the house and all the other insane things you could worry about.
Having a toddler is ape shit. You question your sanity every second of your life, you go to bed exhausted and wake up just the same, you have to be mindful of every little word you say and every single gesture you make because they are true copy cats and the list goes on.
Having a child in school raises the bar, makes you crazy as well and is damn hard.
AND ON AND ON AND ON… being a parent is hard. End of story. You worry and you go crazy and you feel sane again so you can feel like a 11am drink is all you desire. IT IS HARD AT ANY STAGE