This time last year I was counting baby kicks, struggling to keep my full time job that required me to be on my feet most of the times and walking around 13 km every day back and forth from one desk to another in a massive shopping center. I was wrapping millions of presents for people everywhere. I wrapped shirts, toys, cosmetics, candles and anything that can constitute a Christmas present including some inappropriate ones. And all these while touching my belly and feeling my little munchkin growing inside me every day, getting more and more excited with every scan.
This time last year I was praying for a foot massage, I had swollen feet and I was buying ugly pregnancy shoes (as my friend Matt called them) cause they were elastic and kept me as comfortable as they could during long work hours.

This time last year I was waiting for Christmas and praying not to fall asleep before I get a chance to unwrap all presents under the tree

I remember all I wanted was sleep. I felt so so tired and that was the time when my sciatica kicked in and killed my mood for partying. I skipped all work parties that I wouldn’t have otherwise and I declined any invitation I received. I couldn’t be bothered and I couldn’t cope with anything.
This time last year I was buying a million baby clothes and all you need for a newborn.
My dear Santa, this time last year I was full of hope and had so many expectations. I was dreaming of so many things that I had no idea about.
It’s been a year since this time last year and so many have changed. First months of 2016 were a struggle, a proper fight against tiredness, endless trips to the loo, smaller and smaller steps, pains everywhere, hormones all over the place and moments full of tears followed by crazy laughs a second later. It was all a whirlwind and I had no idea what to expect after all these. I was anxious but in the same time calm. Not quite calm but realistic I would say. I didn’t know what will happen, what will I feel like and how my life will change forever.
And after the first four months of 2016, more precise on the 14th of April around eleven in the evening my water broke and I started feeling so much pain around my belly. I knew little one wants to come out. I told her earlier that week she should come to this world on Friday so I knew she would listen to mummy.

On Friday 15th of April around two am I went to the birth center having no clue about what am I supposed to do

I didn’t even bring my hospital bag. I was wearing a shitty extra large men’s t-shirt while it was pissing down with rain and the weather was so cold. I was sent for a walk (like I was gonna actually walk in the rain) and advised to come back few hours later. I went home and around five am I couldn’t take it anymore. I called a friend and I was taken to the hospital again. This time a midwife examined me and said I should go straight in the pool. What a bliss to be in the water while in labour. That day at exactly 1:46 pm my little Ruby come to this world and changed my life completely.

About five months straight from that day I done everything guided by books and websites, I prayed for two full hours of sleep, I cried and I laughed more than I could ever remember, I struggled with depression not even knowing I was suffering from it, I learned how to dress, clean, change, wash and take care of a baby from YouTube videos and mother instinct I guess and I managed to remember what good it feels to have a coffee in the morning and a glass of wine whenever you want to.
All these struggles disappeared somehow one sweet day and I started sleeping more, enjoying more and more of my life, appreciating all I have and feeling happy and blessed.

New struggles came along trying to find a new place to suit my baby, with more space for her to enjoy and develop

Just when I was about to give up I found the most beautiful apartment in a lovely area with good people around and good schools as well. My baby started sleeping through the night, I am getting ready to go back to work and take her to nursery, I am making new plans and I am having new expectations as now we are at this time this year. I am looking forward to open my presents and celebrate my baby’s first Christmas. I  am getting to make memories and fill my heart with more love if that is ever possible.
So many happened since this time last year and they changed me so much. A good change that helped me grow and understand life as I know it.

Dear Santa, all I want for this Christmas this year is peace and quiet, laughter and joy, blessed moments and new expectations. Give lots of presents to others as I have all I want this year

THERE HAS TO BE A SONG OF THE DAY: