When I got pregnant I obviously subscribed to all websites regarding baby development and so on. Ten months after I had Ruby I still receive notifications as I am still not ready to hit that unsubscribe button. Reading about what might and might not happen during pregnancy and all baby stages made me more confident in the parenting area. I was informing myself way ahead so I can be prepared for absolutely anything. The fact that I have no family support here (I do have it mentally but not physically as all my family is back in Romania) made me more determined to succeed and be a better mother than anyone else. I anted to prove myself that I can do it, I can take care of my little one and not go crazy in the same time. Thank you YouTube for teaching me how to dress a new born and bathe one as well. Thank you to all baby forums and websites, not to mention blogs for giving me so much information and advice regarding parenthood.

I can only say one thing: the world out  there tells you exactly how it is in all cases. It is up to you to take in all good information and filter it for your need

I am wondering how some women are still clueless when it comes to taking care of their baby. They are pure ignorant and pretend to be a victim of this world. NO! I am not having this. You are just lazy and a bad parent. That is all. Stop complaining that you are tired cause your newborn is crying all night. We’ve all been there and we’ve all slept while walking around the house trying to calm down an unsettled baby. Pick up the phone and call your doctor before opening your mouth in front of other moms saying stupid things (to the border of retard) like you need your mother to wake up and feed your child because you are tired. It’s only been few weeks and you already give up. Your mother done her job raising you, she is working and taking care of a house. She deserves her night time rest you cow.

And enough with venting. I am not talking about the new moms who recover from ECS, I am not talking about women who actually need the extra help more than air itself but about the ones who had babies for the sake of having them or just to win a man over, about the ones who have no idea what they get into and once the baby comes instead of embracing this little miracle, they reject it with no heart. It is a personal thing and I had to vent about it somehow.

Now, back to our initial conversation.

The baby stage vs toddler

I just received an email from one of the mommy websites I am subscribed to. There was an article meant to inform me that my little one is just a step away from becoming a toddler and help me understand more the toddler behavior. So, basically my little one is experimenting with things now, she is trying to understand that actions have consequences. So if I am not paying attention now and teach her properly she will become a very spoiled and annoying little toddler. Like the ones I see rolling over on the floor in the shopping centers just because they don’t get things their way.

Now I understand better why every time I say no to Ruby she gives me a dirty look and starts babbling in her own language

She tries to do things again and again, probably hoping I will get bored of saying no and let her have it her way.  I did notice some changes in her behavior lately, becoming more of a tiny person rather than a baby and forming her personality slowly slowly. I swear if I am not going to act now I will be in for a real treat for the next few years.

One is that she is becoming more independent, starting with the fact that she is crawling now and she can reach places she only dreamed about before. She knows that the nose drops are doing her good so I don’t have to go mental anymore every time I need to clean her nose, she knows that opening a drawer is not allowed – she still does it but at least she is not touching whatever is inside. She just opens and closes it for fun. She learned how to be cute and have things her way without getting mommy crazy or crying. She knows that if she closes her baby book over her fingers it will hurt her and she also knows that coughing, crying or winging always have my attention. She knows that all it takes is for her to show a bit of a sign that she is not well and she will definitely gets an infinite of cuddles and my undivided attention (I am weak and she is cheeky – so so bad).

I can tell that I noticed some emotional development lately and she is more aware of things. When I leave the room she knows I am coming back quick and she is fine but if she sees me putting my coat on than she can tell I am going somewhere and she starts crying so I can pick her up and give her attention.

Even in nursery they told me she is much much better, not crying anymore and not needing the dummy. She is overall a happy, smart baby heading towards the toddler stage. I can say I am scared of it. I am scared of tantrums in public places, I am scared of princess outfits and her wanting to wear them every day and night, I am scared of not having a fussy eater (didn’t happen so far so fingers crossed), I am scared of maybe not being able to keep up with the developments and not being able to teach her everything in time. I am scared of lots of things and I am most of all scared of time. I can’t believe that in April she will be one. When did this happen? I remember the day we came from the hospital, I remember the chinese food I had before going into labor (haven’t had chinese since), I remember the colics and struggles like it all happened yesterday.

My baby is not a baby anymore. She is heading to the toddler stage and from there on towards more and more independence and I am just watching everything like it’s a show I never want to end.