Wine tastes amazing. Even better since I know it’s only mine. I don’t have to share it with the little one. She is not allowed. This is for mummy. I have wine and you have milk. I have coffee and you have orange juice.

Life is not fair little sucker… got ya here! 

And this is where I draw the line. I can only win in this case. Rest is a lost cause. She always comes first and I have to settle for silver medal. Or sometimes not even. Now she is almost seven months she discovered her own voice. And how she loves it. All day is a mumble and a mix of “ba”, “da”, “ma” and “ga” that only she understands. I repeat what she says and hope she gets what I mean. I am not fluent in “baby” yet. Still takes practice. She is absolutely adorable when she is making all these sounds and they are followed by proper laughs and the never ending noise of toys hitting chairs or any hard surface. Makes me smile and changes my mood instantly.

Baby talk is funny and so challenging. I am trying to make her say HI and MAMA, to teach her how to wave and say DADA but I am not making much progress. She still does and says whatever she wants and she literally laughs in my face when she sees my struggles. I mean, why wouldn’t she. Probably she thinks I am a freak, a weirdo trying to lure her in my own crazy world. She is smart. She knows she can get away with anything and she is pushing it every single day. Silly me, daring to think I am the adult and I am the boss. Things are not always what we think they are.

This little miss shitty pants is in charge of my life. Now she articulates few sounds she thinks she is smarter than anyone around.

Last night I left her with my friend for few hours and I found out just how cheeky a baby can be. We are trying to teach her falling asleep by herself and not in my arms as usual. Oh well, my friend didn’t know so she was stuck holding Ruby in her arms for couple of hours watching TV just because my daughter had the nerve to manipulate her. Every time she was put in bed she would start crying her eyes out, sobbing like it’s the end of the world. I can’t believe it. She doesn’t do it with me anymore cause she realised it’s not working as it used to but she done it gracefully with my friend. Cheeky little shit. And still everyone thinks she is the most adorable baby.

We are about to start a new life in a new place with new hopes an dreams and I feel a bit nostalgic. Just like yesterday I decided on changing countries and look for a better me, I was living in a shared house with my friend trying to make something in life and than I met him and we moved in together and had dreams together and hopes of a magical future.

Life is not always easy but when you pick the good in it you are in for a treat.

We had good and bad in this place but on top of it all, forgetting how shit this place is I can only see a ring and a proposal, I can see a pregnancy test and I can see the day I came from the hospital holding my baby so tight and thinking nothing can be better. I see all these beautiful moments and I realise that no matter where you live, you just have to make the most of it. Don’t let yourself down, don’t get influenced by the negative around you. Just trust yourself and trust life. When it hands you lemons, just make lemonade and enjoy it. I know it’s cold and raining, trains are late, buses stuck in traffic and so on but when all sorts out nothing else matters.

I lived here almost two years and so many had changed. I changed and I learned so much. Most important of it all is baby talk. I learned her language and we get along so well. We are addicted to one another and we have a bond no person in the world can brake.

Don’t be afraid to look silly.

Mumble and talk baby with your little one as much as you can. Soon those little sounds will turn into words and words become sentences and so when they grow up they will communicate and you will be their best friend forever. Who cares what people say when you gain so much?

I know she might turn out to be a spoiled little brat and she will annoy the shit out of me but until than I am happy to dream of a perfect child that will never exist on the face of the Earth. I know she might probably hate me sometimes and we will fight and cry and shout but for now I do baby talk and babies have that innocence we forget about. So I am enjoying as much as I can and even more from now on cause we are about to start a new life, a new chapter in our life and what can be better than something new?

MY SONG FOREVER: – i loved his music and always will.