No, I am not going to make a series of writings about my dating history starting with the first time a boy held my hand and ending with my life today. Definitely not. The idea came to me the other day while reading an article about how to meet the perfect man and keep him. It was a bit silly to be honest. All that crazy nonsense advice about how you spot the one. Really? Did any of you know that the one was actually your one from the first moment you met him? I didn’t. I didn’t even think it would be something between us so getting engaged, having a baby and talking marriage was not in my books when I met him.
It wasn’t that coffee shop type of meeting, none of that romantic movies crap. We met at work and first time I saw him I thought he was cute and he called dibs on me before his mate. It was a joke and just like me he never thought something will come of it. Absolutely nothing. We are two such different people. There was no spark at first sight, no butterflies in my stomach or sleepless nights in the company of plans for our future. It was just two people who work together and they just met. I was happily single and loved so much spending time with myself. I was in that stage when I didn’t want to make space in my life for anyone. I liked my company as it was freeing and empowering. It gave me time for everything. I could write, read, work, drink, meet people, make projects that I never finished, make friends, lose friends. Anything one can imagine I could do. Cause I had time only for myself. I could go out whenever I wanted and return just as such. I didn’t have to explain my doings to anyone and this I thought was heaven.
I was over 30, single and happy and the fact that he showed up in my life seemed a bit of a plus that I had no idea how to insert into all of my “fabulous” life style. Needless to say that when you go over 30 you don’t really want to start any type of relationship unless you are sure it leads to where it has to. And I was just the same.
We started going out but I refused to get involved. I changed plans every time he would ask me out and so on. All this until one day when he proved me that he is here to stay and I realised that all I was doing was repress my feelings out of fear. I was afraid of loving him. Damn, I think I was afraid of him staying as well.
The hardest thing to do was let him in. It took me 33 years to find someone like him and when I did I chickened out. This was definitely hard work. I was thinking that “the one” for me got lost somewhere along the way or worse, he got hit by a truck. I was ready to give up but someone said that your other half comes into your life when you least expect him. That person knew so well what she was talking about. I was definitely not expecting my one anytime soon. After few months of dating I realised that this is it. He is here to stay for the long run, he actually loves me more than anything and he wants to be with me no matter what. I took a long look at him that evening and my heart started to finally beat as it was supposed to a long time ago. That is when I admitted to myself that I want him to stay and I stopped pushing him away. Why? Because even when I behaved like a spoiled, envious bitch he sucked it up, kissed me, cuddled me and told me he loves me. He was so patient and that is one of the qualities I admire at him. He is romantic, he always knows what I want, he is full of surprises, so smart and full of dreams, he knows how to fix anything, he loves me the way I am and he never tried to change me but most of all he makes me laugh. He makes me laugh a lot. And like one of my favorite people was saying: you always end up with the one who makes you laugh. And she was right. And it’s easy to explain. Every time I had a bad moment he managed to make me smile, take away my sadness and make it all better. Every time I cried he made me smile and I forgot it all.
He takes away my pain, he knows how to make my heart beat and did I mention he was the one who first spoke about us having kids? He wasn’t afraid of saying it, he wasn’t afraid of saying he loves me although he had no idea what I feel. He is my brave man and I admire him so much. On top of it all he is the best dad in the world for our little princess. She lights up when she sees him.
So what would I want more?
I am rich. The type of rich no economy or calamity can destroy, the type of rich I always wanted.