Since the day I decided to spill the beans about my pregnancy all I heard was “your life will change forever” “your going out days are over” “get ready for a year full of pain and fat you can’t lose” and the list goes on and on and on till you fall asleep.
The only truth in this? My life changed completely. Not in a bad way as expected but in the most beautiful way possible.
Rest of it? A bunch of shit thrown at me by people who don’t even have children. Their friends do. And so they are entitled to pass on information like experts.
What I learned so far? Being a mum is hard, 24hour job, life changing and amazing. The most beautiful thing in the world. Apart from it? I can work out and done it about 12 weeks after giving birth. And yes, I can go out.
Ninety percent of the time I do it accompanied by the pushchair attached. I push it everywhere i go and smile politely at everyone who stares at my baby. Since I started taking Ruby out pushing her from park to park I forgot what a handbag is. I don’t know how to walk down the street without having both hands busy. I have her bag and in there my wallet as well. What do I need more for myself? When I go out the house I don’t check if I have make up in my bag no more. I only check if I have my wallet and after comes checking for her stuff and this is the most important: nappies, wipes, sterilising gel, bottle, water, milk, changing clothes and so on. Imagine everything triples in amount if we travel outside London or for more than three hours in a day. But who cares. I got my baby and I can travel and have fun. Different kind of fun. Better fun.
The other ten percent mummy goes out with friends to relax and catch up on the latest gossip. I am home with little one most of the time so I am sometimes desperate to talk to someone about anything. I don’t want to talk about my baby, I don’t want to show pictures or videos of my baby. I prefer having a bit of a gossip, finding out what happened lately at work or with my friends. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to talk about my baby not because I am not proud of her or something like that. She is the most amazing child in the world but I prefer to keep her for myself and who wants to see her can come see her.
And when I go out by myself I don’t go clubbing but to be fair I didn’t enjoy it before either so not missing much there is it?
I used to love going to a pub, having a glass of wine, a bit of a chat with my friends and coming back home to enjoy my last glass of wine before bed so I can do it still. I am not staying as long as I used to. I have to admit this and the going out hours have changed.
Anything before 7 pm is perfect as that is bath time for Ruby and sleep after.
Priorities change and your life changes completely but you can work around it if you want to.
Being a parent doesn’t mean your life is over. Whoever thinks that either has no intention on having kids or had a kid by accident.
It’s only been four months of motherhood and I learned that I can make time for my fiancee and show him I love him, I can go out and see my friends and definitely I can make time to write (even if it is at 4 am after I feed my baby) or in the car while she is sleeping in her seat.
Today we went by the seaside with some friends. Such an amazing day full of sunshine, love and happiness. I got a bit of a tan, spent an entire day being kissed an spoiled by my fiancee and cherished every single second of my life.
Not every day is like today but moments like this make me feel so blessed and rich. I don’t own a house or a car. I live in a rented small flat with hopes and dreams for the future but I feel richer than any person in this universe because I love and I am loved back.