I won’t talk about the movie but it’s the best title for my post today. Suits like a glove because I want to bring a bit of light in the matter. As a first time mum, the second you pee on that stick your brain will just explode. You are heading into unknown territory. You suddenly start having cravings, morning sickness, dizziness, tiredness and all classic symptoms of a pregnancy. What you don’t know is that in that moment it’s all in your head.
About 90 percent of women find out they are pregnant so early on that most of the times the induced symptoms are ridiculous. We all know what we should feel and do because women got pregnant from the beginning of time and we have been told that this is the way it is, that all of them felt this and that, that all of them threw up day and night, had insane cravings in the middle of the night and couldn’t live without that particular thing, that all of them had to eat for two and stop doing any activities of all sorts as it might hurt the baby and the craziest ones that we always see in the movies – water breaks in a gush and give birth lying on your back with your legs up. Obviously there are the insane tell tales about what happens after baby comes but this is another chapter.
Thing is it’s never what you hear. Each and every woman feels things differently and not because they necessarily are different but because we are different. Some like to play the sick card and milk it till the end, taking advantage of every situation, seeing pregnancy as an illness and not a thing to enjoy, some will just throw up and curse the day they got pregnant, praying that the nine months will fly by swearing never again to try for another, some feel sick but just get on with it; some don’t feel anything and some feel too much.
The minute I found out I was pregnant I thought about all that it’s supposed to happen not looking forward for morning sickness, cravings or any of the things I knew about. What actually happened was the exact opposite. I did feel exhausted in the first trimester, I did struggle with sciatica from week twenty and my feet were so swollen they looked more like tree trunks. I worked full time, on my feet all day until two weeks before giving birth and I can say it was so damn hard. There were days when I was praying to get a seat in the train and staring at people just to make them feel bad about sitting down, days when I felt like crying because standing up for eight hours dealing with entitled rude and spoon fed people while pregnant is most definitely a nightmare. There were times during my pregnancy when I was an emotional wreck and my hormones went up and down making me act like an insane godzilla rather than a human being but I want to say one thing: I enjoyed my pregnancy to the last minute. I seen my pregnancy as a miracle and not a burden and I thought that all I went through was just a part of my journey towards become a parent.
I never thought I am sick and never acted as if I am entitled to royalty treatment just because I am growing a person inside me. That tiny human I was creating was my reason to move forward, my strength to cope with it all and my goal to achieve at the end of it.
I was mentally prepared and I think this is the most important thing for a woman when she gets pregnant. Nobody will know exactly how you will feel like and how your pregnancy will evolve. You might be straight forward or you might be complicated but know that being prepared gets you a step forward. Listen to the medical advice you get and not other facebook mums, listen to what your midwife advices you as she seen it all and she literally knows almost all about it.
Seeing your pregnancy as a positive thing it’s a start and after that comes the healthy eating, exercising, keeping active and open minded (your mum gave birth to you some time ago and your grandma gave birth even earlier that that – medicine evolves every day so what worked twenty years ago might actually be wrong now), attending those antenatal classes and breastfeeding classes with open eyes – they are so useful as long as you listen and yes, they will give you an idea about how labour comes, what contractions are, when to call the hospital and when it’s time to push, they prepare you and they are FREE, damn it.
Read books and watch videos and stop panicking about how painful labour is. It might be a piece of cake or it might not but the truth is there is no coming back. You are pregnant and that baby is coming out in few hours or few days. Just stay positive and don’t panic.
Third trimester is the one when you start getting impatient and want the baby out sooner, you are uncomfortable and can’t sleep properly (I was waking up so often and always go in the kitchen, have an ice lolly and bounce on the gym ball) and you are getting slower and heavier but it’s also that amazing time when you get to buy all baby stuff you will need, arrange the nursery, buy the pushchair, get the hospital bag ready and dream of holding that munchkin finally in your arms. It’s that magical time of your pregnancy when it’s all so close you can almost feel it. The baby kicks are so strong that talking to little bubba feels natural and your hair never looked better.
So expect all unexpected and see it all as what it is: a miracle that we get to live. We are creating a life, growing a life out of cells and welcoming it in this world.
Yes, it's hard and painful but than again it wouldn't be so amazing if it was easy.