When I found out I was expecting I realised most of my friends have no kids. I was to be on my own trying to learn motherhood from Youtube and messaging via facebook with the only friend who was already a mother of 3. I tried to read as much as I could but in the end I had to give up on my friend Google as he turned out to be a bit of a d..k making me panic.
So there I was learning on the go like most probably all mums out there. I was lucky to have an easy pregnancy (minus that damn sciatica that was so so painful) and time literally flew by without me even realising I was getting closer and closer to the real deal.
One Friday night I went into labour and about 13 hours later there she was, my little baby girl took her first breath around 1:46pm. I was a mum. OMG. I couldn’t believe it. She was so peaceful and so beautiful and I felt so energised and happy. It was the most wonderful day of my life and for about two weeks after I did not sleep at all. I was fully awake wondering how I made this amazing little creature.
Slowly slowly I hit a brick wall and I suffered with PND without even knowing exactly what it is so I thought it’s just me being over tired and my baby being over clingy as she was exclusively breastfed. I tried going out more but it didn’t work. I had no idea what to do and who to turn to. My mother raised three kids about thirty years ago in a communist country where depression is a ridiculous word and doctors are there to treat any illnesses but the mental ones.
So I just assumes motherhood comes with these feelings and I went on with it. In this time I had two friends who were expecting. One was in London but on the other side of town and the other was in Austria so Watsapp and Video Calls on messenger were the only connections we had. One of them had a little boy and the other a little girl just a day apart at the end of May.
In a way I was an expert in motherhood as my little girl was already five weeks old when my friends just faced their newborns for the first time. I was trying to give them advice in breastfeeding, sleeping and coping but in the same time I was completely lost in a world of my own.
Almost a year down the road another one of my best friends had a lovely little girl and now me and my friend from Austria were absolute experts in what parenting involves. Slowly but surely the three of us started our online motherhood club if I can call it this way. We just have a messenger group called “The crazy mums” and we speak on regular basis sharing experiences, frustrations, milestones, coffees and anger, happiness and proud mummy moments, fussy eater moments and recipes of yummy yummy baby food. None of us is an expert in anything but together we can cope with life and motherhood and make things easier.
Online friendship and motherhood works wonders for us. We all know each other for such a long time we don’t even remember how life was before we met. We got closer and closer and even if life separates us by seas and mountains, technology keeps us together. We all have our families now and we remember our single lives like the crazy years when we got drunk together, had so many sleepovers and lost so many nights and days working in a small TV station like donkeys and creating news and shows out of nothing.
Now, the present keeps us on our toes and we live on coffee sharing moments together, moments that soon will become memories that we will never forget.
We dream of meeting all together at some point but until then online friendship and motherhood works out perfectly. We learned together that if life gives us lemons we should make lemonade and enjoy it, we learned that we can be ourselves together with no makeup, wearing PJs at 1pm and swearing as much as we can until frustration turns into laughter.
Life is easier like this and I love it.