Yesterday was the first time in a long long time that I felt full of energy (Mommy full not normal person). Maybe the 16 degrees outside had something to do with it or maybe the fact that I am finally getting better after a horrible week. Not sure which one but thank God it happened.
Somehow I had time to go out with the little munchkin, do my shopping, finish doing the laundry, Hoover and dust around the house and I still had time to lay down for a minute while Ruby took a nap and exercise (need my no belly body back). Wow. What an achievement I would say. Might not seem much for some of you but for me it was a lot.
Today I am back at work and although my daughter decided to wake up babbling at 1:30 am I somehow feel good.

I tried to get her to sleep while making efforts not to laugh out loud when she was pulling faces at me in the dark. Se was just adorable and although my eyes were closing I couldn’t stop cuddling and kissing her. It was one of those moments when I was so proud of being a mother that I was literally feeling my heart getting bigger and bigger, fuller with love and joy.
After what seemed couple of hours she finally fell asleep and slowly slowly I moved her in her bed. I stretched so much and closed my eyes drifting away, travelling to dreamland. And it was so good. I think I even smiled a bit.
Not long after I went to sleep I could hear Ruby babbling and giggling but I just couldn’t wake up. I decided on giving her time to go back to bed without interfering. I was just lying down trying not to move or breath so she won’t notice I am awake. She didn’t seem to have any desire on sleeping so I made the effort of getting out of bed.

My God that was such an amazing moment

She was standing up in bed staring at me and smiling. For the first time I seen my baby standing up. She done it on her own without any help. My little one is making so much progress. How could I be upset that she woke me up? I took her in my arms and whispered she is a good girl. She gave me a big smile and started clapping with her tiny hands, happy she got the recognition.
We went in the living room on the sofa and both fell asleep for a while. I put her back in her bed and decided I should make the most of the night and sleep as well.
I had my coffee in the morning watching the news and cursing the shit Brexit and the idiots who decided upon it. Extra stress for me needing to apply for insane papers and work permits as I don’t have a British passport yet. But never mind that. I hope they will choke on it.

que sera sera/ whatever will be will be/

the future’s not ours to see

I was thinking about waking Ruby up around 7:30 am as I decided on getting the Southern train so it gave me plenty of time to drop her off to nursery and walk to the station.
I put the worries behind me and took a deep breath. Nothing I can do about things now so we’ll live to see.
Today I am a proud mommy so no point in ruining my mood. I just want to smile and show off with my baby.
We got to the nursery and I was expecting the usual crying and Ruby’s issues with me leaving her with strangers for the day but you know what. She went to her key person on her own. She actually wanted to go and she didn’t shed a tear.
There it is just here another proud mommy moment. This child never stops amazing me.
Unbelievable how a little one can change from one week to another, from one day to another.
She tried all day yesterday to stand up holding on to the furniture and myself but she always needed a bit of a push.

Seeing her accomplishing this, even at 3 in the morning

took my breath away

And not crying when left in nursery made me so happy and proud.
I do have to admit that a tiny part of me was a bit sad thinking she is growing up and becoming more and more independent but I tried not to listen to that. Put all negative things behind me and just be happy, enjoy every second of my life and every tiny little progress my baby does.

I miss her being all so helpless but the grown up Ruby I have in front of my eyes is such a delight. And she keeps me on my toes. Now I have to hoover every day. She learned to open doors and crawls around the house trying to eat everything off the floor, all to my desperation.