Motherhood is hard work and we all know it. It is more than a full time job. It sometimes consumes you to the point that you hide in a corner and cry in defeat, only so you can kick yourself in the behind, have a pep talk in front of the toilet mirror and tell yourself that you can do it, you are strong and no four year old can bring you in such a state.
I mean, they can and they will but it’s nice to think that you are in charge and be able to raise like the Phoenix from the ashes. Nothing more inspiring and powerful than this.
Motherhood means worry, frustrations, cries of defeat, all at ones while having the capacity to love unconditionally and do it all with a smile on your face. It’s raw and challenging and never ending. We cry for time off and when we finally get it our brains do what they know best: take us back home craving for those tiny arms around us, making us talk about them and take our devices out to show off the best moments since birth.
Every stage comes with different challenges and we wake up in the middle of this crisis or that crisis without warning. It’s a bit like being thrown in the ocean without knowing how to swim. Survival instinct kicks in and you learn because the will to live is stronger than anything.
Motherhood means so much patience that is almost inhuman. I am known for it and maybe seen as to mellow but I can’t help it. I want to be able to explain everything to my daughter with calm and reason and be able to teach her all new things with maturity but lately I found myself pulling my hair out and crying in defeat. No matter what I say we will face the same two scenarios any given day.
FIRST: BRUSHING HER TEETH – morning or evening she will happily get to the bathroom. Then she will stare at me whinging that she is so scared and I should help her. As soon as I am holding the toothbrush there comes another whinge and she will just get brave: “Let me do it all by myself” And here we are going back and forth until all I want to do is bang my head against a wall and scream but, obviously, all with a smile on my face threatening her to go bed without a story or staying home all day with no TV or toys depending on the time of day.
SECOND: SCHOOL TOILET – since she started school I am facing one of my biggest challenges. Making my child go toilet during the day. No matter what I do or say, I find myself running every day from school to home because she can’t hold it anymore and she can’t go outside or inside the school but in her house. Not sure why or how did this start but I swear to you, yesterday I cried while running in the rain, dragging her with the scooter all the way home. I tried to make her understand that it’s OK to go outside and she will feel better. What did I get in return: she just screamed and cried to get home. I stopped in the middle of the street and tried to make her go. She just went straight as a surf board and begged me to take her home. It absolutely broke my heart in million pieces. We got home and while on the toilet she just smiled and said to me: “See mummy, I didn’t wee my pants. We made it!” God help me cause I had no clue what to say or what to do. I tried again to explain to her that it’s not about getting home in time but rather going toilet when we need to. Not sure if I got through to her but if I didn’t I will need all the help I can get.
I am not sure if she is scared or she just gets distracted in class. When I asked she says she doesn’t need to go but she promises that the next day she will. And the next day we are facing the same story all over again.
PS: On a brighter note, I won a VIP Spa treatment on an Instagram competition and I can’t wait to book it in as I sure as Hell need it.