As I sit here in my bed, by the window, I look out and I smile at the clear blue sky and the massive tree with its pink beautiful flowers, waiting to bloom. It’s so peaceful and quiet and I am grateful for this moment. Not the reason of my being in bed at three pm though. I pulled a muscle while working out and I can barely move my neck and shoulder. So darn frustrating but nevertheless productive. I finished my current read (Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine by Gail Honeyman) and getting ready to have a very in depth conversation about it with my buddy as we have read it together (very enjoyable activity this buddy read).
Today’s challenge should be about something I am excited about but as you can tell, the next thing that would get me excited might be the day when I can move freely and get back on my workouts. I literally hate doing nothing. It gives me an itch. I can’t settle. Maybe that’s why I had to finish my book and now I am writing. I can’t just do nothing. My friend was telling me one day that I feel bad if I sit down to relax and I think she’s right. I can see it now. We are just the same. We are alert and we stress over things that need to be done. I mean when we sit down we don’t just sit. Our minds are racing, organizing activities, get together play dates, things that need to be purchased for the household and the child; bills to be paid and so on.
But never mind that. Let’s see what actually gets me excited. I have to say that most definitely I am excited about the day when things will get back to normal and we can freely go outside our houses, embrace our friends, buy a takeaway coffee and walk in a park smiling at each other. I am excited about the day I would go back to work and remind myself why I need to change my job (haha ), I am excited about this Thursday when I will find out what school my daughter will go to starting September as I have to say I am quite anxious about as lots of things depend on this result. As I am very superstitious about things, I won’t talk about this more than I did but I will definitely let you know in due time what the outcome is.
Today though, on this particular post, I will talk about that thing that gets me so excited and nervous in the same time. It’s my birthday. I am turning forty in a month and I think the number just scares me but in the same time I got this thing in my mind that keeps telling me that it’s also a turning point in my life. That 40 is my lucky number and it will miraculously turn my life around making it all brighter and better. I have prepared myself for spending my special day indoors and I am not sad about it. I just want it to be quiet, beautiful and around the people I love. Also, I am supposed to go on a surprise trip in June. I am not sure where because it’s one of my birthday presents and I am to find out the destination on May 11th – that is the day I was born. I know this trip might as well not happen bearing in mind this virus but one can only hope. I already see myself by a beautiful beach (I know the holiday is somewhere by the sea) taking in all that vitamin D, reading a book and smiling at my beautiful four year old playing in the sand. I am excited about such a little thing as a day in my life and it might seem so trivial but I learned not to make big plans for the future to avoid unnecessary disappointment. I don’t want to get excited about finding my perfect job when I have been looking for a while and it seems that nobody wants a part time mummy in their company. I am just saying: the right thing comes at the right time. This way I am not giving myself a certain amount of time to succeed but I am hopeful for what will be.
I am not getting excited about future projects or buying a house because every time I got dreamy and happy about certain plans …. nothing happened. It was all in vain. However, when I had to take big decisions in life and I just treated them like something natural and haven’t thought much about …. that is when all materialized and came true. My moving to another country, my relationship with my daughter’s father, us moving in together when we did, my pregnancy … it was all so calm and rational. It happened because it was meant to happen. I now know that I will buy a house for us at the right time and when the right house will come my way. It has to be a calm and natural move.
You see, I am the type of person who gets excited over the new orchid flowers in my pot; over a sunny day in the park. I get excited about having a cool night in with cheese, grapes and wine, watching a movie and falling asleep on the sofa. I am that person who will get over excited telling you what I think about the latest book I read or over a book launch and a signed copy. I get excited because my new muffin recipe was a success in my house and I am asked to make them again. It is who I am and maybe, sometimes I am seen as a bit too much but I rather get all giddy and happy over the little things in life and not miss the joy of it rather than focus on big projects and forget to live my life in the same time.
I am excited to go watch a movie with my daughter and my friend and her daughter. I am excited to see them hyped up on sugar laughing their asses off at God knows what. I am also excited for this Wednesday coming as my little munchkin turns four and we had some friends sending presents over via post. I want to see her beautiful face light up when she receives all those incredible toys and I want to see her reaction when she receives our present. Something she loves so much and we discovered she has a real passion for: we got her a beautiful camera (shock proof obviously) so she can take as many pictures as she wants, wherever we go. In all honesty, I am excited to wrap all presents tonight just as I am before Christmas when I choose different paper for everyone and make sure all presents have a personal touch. I turn my bedroom in a store room for wrapped presents and it’s so joyous to see all colors and shapes, all ribbons and flowers attached carefully.
I do get excited about so many things it makes me laugh now. I feel like I am still a child although I shouldn’t. But I would love to know what gets you excited? Are you a person who plans long term or do you get excited about the flowers in spring time?