I was raised in a comunist country where the belt or wooden spoon were seen as the way to discipline your children. My parents used to hit us with anything they could find around the house or, in lack of, my mother would use the back of her hand to make sure we have marks of her gold rings all over our faces.
The best motivational speech? Why is such and such better? What are you missing? I give you everything and you repay me with bad grades! (mind you, in my case a bad grade was a 9 out of 10 mark).
I have never heard an I love you from my parents until I said it to them when I became a parent myself. It sounded so strange and unfamiliar to say it but no matter how they raised us, I still did love them. We say it every day now
When I was a child there were no hugs, no morning cuddles, no nice encouragement words or an I miss you said after we spent the entire weekend or summer holiday at my grandparents house. There was only: you have the things that other children don’t. We had candies and Pepsi cans, bananas and oranges. And because we did, we had to behave, make sure we don’t say anything against our parents, don’t make any mistakes on our homework and have the best handwriting possible.
Fast forward to my adult days, when I became a mother, I swore I will raise my daughter as best I could and she will never be passed around to relatives. I know it takes a village but I wanted my daughter to grow up knowing just how loved she is. I wanted to raise her in my own way, with no trauma, no raised hands and no making her feel like she is not good enough.
There are a lot to write about this but i wouldn’t want to turn this post into a therapy session
BABY BUTTERFLIES 🦋 AND COFFEE ☕ 