Merry Christmas you all lovely people. I hope you had a magical day filled with beauty, peace and health

We spent the day as a family of three. Opened presents, had cuddles, ate a lot and threw a disco party as the little one got a microphone and disco globe from Santa

After she went to bed exhausted I was scrolling through my pictures and found this beautiful photo of me and my daughter from back in 2018. It was the year when none of us thought of Covid and lockdowns but also the year when we were supposed to become a family of four

I am so in love with this picture. I was so happy and felt complete knowing that my daughter will have a little brother or a sister

Sadly, our happiness was short lived. We found out that the baby’s heart was not beating and I was taken to hospital in a very bad shape, needing a blood transfusion

We were too scared to try again so every year I remember the dreams we made, the joy that was in our hearts and the hope for a bigger family

So I look at this picture and I shed a tear for all those moments we missed because it wasn’t meant to be. I am grateful for God kept me alive. I am grateful for being so loved. I am grateful for the smart, brave and beautiful daughter I am raising and I am grateful for every day

I live for this little bug now and she never ceases to amaze me.

I will always think of the baby we could have had, and she/he will always be in my heart but after all this time, I don’t feel guilty for being happy anymore

Today, we had a beautiful Christmas. Tomorrow is another day 😊 My alarm is set for 6am and I will go for a run trying on my new leggings and headphones 🥰 Rain or shine …. 🏃‍♀️

4 thoughts on “#throwback

  1. Oh my heart. I’m so sorry for your loss and heartache but thank God for the happy days and moments of gratitude. I hope your family continues having a joyous holiday season as we bring in the new year. Wishing you all the love and happiness you deserve. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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