I keep getting blog post ideas by having random conversations with other people, reading other posts or just walking down the street. Brings me some sort of joy as lately I cannot say that my toddler offered me things worth writing about.
Meeting some friends for drinks was so lovely, specially as we got to take out the kids and they played nicely together (rare moment – i know) while we managed to sip some well deserved wine and chill for couple of hours. Now, every time there is a gathering with other mums or just girl friends and alcohol is involved, the chats turn to subjects we wouldn’t quite approach on daily basis. Unless one or another has some “braking news” but that’s a different story.
In every relationship there are insight jokes that no other understands and this is something I treasure so much. I fell like it’s “out thing” and just gets us closer together being able to joke on different aspects of our lives.
I don’t usually write things about couples or life in general but there are aspects worth discussing and they include jealousy, trust and how we react to certain situations. And this was one of the main subjects on our little social meet. It occurred when I made a joke regarding my partner’s “side chick” aka his best friend, asking if she started texting too much again. This is a thing we always laugh about and everyone who knows us well enough is used to our little banters but this time I felt some confused looks towards me as in why am I so damn chilled about all this. Why am I allowing my man to even dare talk to another woman?
It seemed so silly but in the same time it annoyed the hell out of me. I grew up in an era where men cheated on women and both made crazy efforts in isolating the other from all influences and opinions. Nobody was allowed to have other friends than the family friends and nobody meet with anybody separately. It was all reduced to you don’t need anyone else and things like why would you need to meet outside the family? You must have a hidden reason, therefore you are cheating. It was an era that I see as filled with paranoia and indoctrinated with false believes and family values.
Being a very outgoing person, I have tried to detach myself from these sick views and open my eyes towards what a relationship should be. I have been labeled as cold and not caring enough because I am not possessive and jealous but I learned to ignore people who think this way. At first I got upset and tried to fix everyone. I tried to share my opinion on life and relationships but I got tired of it. It did’t bring any results. Just stressed me more.
I am not jealous but I care and maybe sometimes more than others. I only think that before judging I should trust my partner and not jump to conclusions on every phone call or get together. I trust him enough to know he loves and respects me. And apart from this, I chose to not bring stress into my life by overthinking every little aspect. I see two people together as a partnership. I see peace, love and understanding, making memories together, laughing out loud and bringing joy into each others lives.
I see friendships just as important, being able to talk about things, sharing opinions and getting advice, seeing certain situations from a different perspective.
Having friends outside a relationship is vital for me and my mental health. Being able to go out and enjoy a coffee with a friend, child and partner free charges my batteries, gives me energy and I dare say makes my relationship better.
Do you have personal friends or just same ones as your partner? Just how jealous are you?