I still remember my teenage years when I catalogued as “old”, every single person who was thirty or over. I used to think that once you get to this age, you somehow stop having fun, have to have a bunch of kids and be the responsible adult society wants you to be. Having young parents probably got this in my head as by the time my mum hit thirty she had already two kids (aged 9 and eight) and another on the way.
Since I was about fourteen I couldn’t wait to grow up and hit eighteen (legal age in my country to drink and also to drive). I thought that that was when I would be considered a grown up and be able to take decisions on my own, do what I want and win my own money so I can buy the clothes I want and go out as many times as I want. I thought that between eighteen and thirty is the time frame you have to have fun and enjoy life before becoming an adult and therefore old.
Than, I was eighteen and just finished high school and got my first ever job (summer job until Uni started) working in a store selling car parts. I got my first mobile phone on a contract (not thinking how will I pay for it after I start Uni and stop working). It was liberating and fun but it had some shit parts as well. I experienced my first #metoo and I can tell you it felt scary, frustrating and it left me with some confidence issues but at that time I only thought it’s something that happens at all times and sexual jokes are just normal in a workplace (cause was stupid like that)
Uni started and my mum ended up paying for my contract, I found a boyfriend and few months later I was doing random jobs as an interpreter gaining some good money for my student years. But it wasn’t constant and because I had my family to pay for my studies and transport and food, all I gained I spent stupidly on clothes and shoes.
At the age of twenty one I striked my first job in a TV station as a reporter and soon after I started learning editing and I was producing and writing the short news edition (broadcasted hourly). I was working nights and would go Uni everytime I could. I loved TV work and I became a producer for a live TV show, followed by news producer and my last job was as a TV producer for an amazing weekly show following the first response and ER medical staff.
And here I was at the age of thirty, single, living for my job and with no future perspectives whatsoever. I thought there was nothing more to learn in that field and I was to be stuck doing the same thing over and over again for the rest of my life. So I decided to take the drastic measure of changing my life. I moved countries, started my life over and realised I was actually over thirty and not old at all.
I realised that life starts when you hit your thirties and these are the best years. I felt more happy, free and accomplished than in my last ten years although I was alone in a foreign country working as a waitress, receptionist or customer service person.
I realised that it’s all about the way you feel, it’s about the way you LIVE and learn and progress in life and not about the stamp society puts on you once you hit a certain stage in your life.
What is OLD in the end? Just a conception, an idea of how we are supposed to behave and dress according to society’s rules.
I will be forty next year and although the thought scares the shit out of me, I can tell you that I feel young in my heart, I feel better than in my twenties, I feel that life is about to unfold amazing things for me and that I have never been healthier or fitter ever before.
I see life with different eyes and although I love drinking and I love having fun and going out, I know better than ever what my priorities are and what TO FEEL means.
I know love in it’s forms and ages, I know having fun in it’s stages but I also know what real friends look like, what being loved and loving actually means, I know how to appreciate life’s pleasures and I swear I am not feeling OLD one bit.