THE STRUGGLE OF LIVING ON A HAMSTER WHEEL

Are you familiar with the term “living on a hamster wheel? “

The phrase “living on a hamster wheel” describes a situation where someone feels trapped in a monotonous, repetitive cycle of work or daily tasks, often without a clear sense of progress or achievement. It suggests feeling busy but ultimately not making significant strides towards personal goals or a fulfilling life. 

I have been feeling exactly like this for a long time now, not being able to realise what was actually going on with myself. I somehow ended up living in my own head and not quite seeing the things in front of me.

Every day was a fight against myself; my mind against my body; my “have to” and “need to” against “want to”. T

he activities that I used to absolutely love turned into a chore: my job is a constant worry in regards with what will happen next although, realistically I have the power over my life (but I keep trying to find a new job and nothing seems to materialise). Working two days per week allows you to have a life/work balance but moving to five days per week and trying to fit in all activities results in chaos, stress and restlessness.

BURNOUT IS REAL

Something had to give and I refused to acknowledge this aspect for months now.

I wanted to have the same two 10k runs every week, workout every other day, have some family time, clean my house regularly, spend the same amount of time socialising with my friends and reading as many books as I used to because “I can” – but the thing is … I can’t! Burnout is real!

Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by prolonged or excessive stress. It often manifests as feeling depleted, drained, or unable to cope with the demands of work or life. Burnout can lead to a variety of symptoms, including exhaustion, cynicism, and a reduced sense of accomplishment. 

Reduced sense of accomplishment – this hurts A LOT! – I ended up totally shattered, dozing off on the sofa every evening before ten pm, thinking “What have I done? Why am I so tired?” My body was constantly aching, the 2pm crash was constant no matter how much caffeine entered my system and I felt angry at myself and misunderstood by the ones closed ones.

I became more and more irritated and easily triggered by everything around. People walking slowly would make me lose it, people not listening to what I was saying would make me want to scream. My mind just went to a dark place where no matter what I was doing was not enough. I wasn’t enough

My running dropped and not because I couldn’t do it but because my mind would win – that little dark thought saying “go back home, you’re tired” got stronger than the “you can do it! One step in front of the other and you’ll get there! Just keep going”. Also, the fact that I am pressed by time made me shorten my distance instead of just enjoying the activity and just squeeze in the cool down and shower during the day, after work.

I started working out five days per week (three and two running) and got so tired but I needed to be in shape. No matter how healthy I was eating and how much I would workout, I was totally not happy with the way I look because I turned it all into a race and not a way of releasing stress.

I did not have enough free time to clean my house as I used to and mess gives me a whole new level of anxiety. All I can see is just a pile of things that are not in their place, lots of dust that makes me want to throw everything out and shout at everyone in the house. Laundry is never ending and makes me feel like I am failing at life.

I could not read as much as when I had five days a week free time and I fell behind on my book reviews and buddy reads. This made me stress about the fact that there are too many books to read and gave me FOMO (fear of missing out).

So, you see … running, working out, seeing my friends, cleaning, reading …. they all became aspects of my life that brought so much stress and negativity, whereas before, these were the moments that brought me joy and satisfaction.

My heart rate is up the roof and I can’t bring it back down. Some people would definitely faint having my heart rate while running. I am 45 years old (in a week time) and my maximum heart rate reaches highs of 191

ADMITTING DEFEAT IS A WIN

The other day I finally admitted to myself that nothing is making me happy and something needs to be done. I don’t workout every day now because sometimes my body needs a rest and when this happens, I clean a corner of my house and it brings me so much satisfaction thinking one corner is so much better than nothing. I ran my first 10k in months and although it wasn’t a fast one, it was a 10k and I loved it – plus, I need to get used to the distance as I am running the Race for Life 10k for Cancer Research in only 5 weeks time.

Maybe I don’t stay hours on end in the park with my friends for a coffee but I stay one hour and that brings me so much joy because I see them, I can have a quick catch up and my brain is not going in overdrive thinking nobody likes me anymore.

I don’t read eight books a month but I so much enjoy one or two books 📚 as the time when I finally sit down to read is just so precious.

I am definitely no expert in life but once in a while I like to reflect on what’s going on and try to find those things that don’t work. Maybe fix them if I can or just acknowledge them and make things a bit easier.

There is no magic recipe for life! It’s all about finding a balance that works for you! My idea of balance might not be the same as my friend’s idea of balance but it is that thing that makes me more me.

What works for me?

• Supplements help (collagen in my coffee every morning, creatine to help with recovery, magnesium for my muscles, vitamin D as England is well known for its grey skies, vitamin C for immunity)
• getting enough sleep to allow my body to work at full capacity
• less caffeine
• 100% less alcohol (can’t drink like I used to and also, I feel so much better when I don’t)
• as much time as possible spent outdoors, in nature
• moderate exercising (my goal is actually to keep my body strong and not aiming for a six pack)
• speak less – I actually wrote this as a note on my phone so I can see it every day and remember that I should not over share nor speak too much

Do you have tips on. balancing life and avoiding burnout? Would you share your own experiences? It will helps so much