I used to be able to remember what someone said fifteen years ago at a party when I got drunk and today I struggle remembering if I took my keys with me and where did I put them although they are always in the same pocket

I used to eat one Milka chocolate a day, have wine, a massive bottle of Coca Cola and sleep three hours a night and I was like a twig. Today I look at a bar of chocolate and think how much I got to sweat during my workout and if it’s worth adding back the calories I just burned

I remember those days when face cream, body lotions and vitamin supplements were for old people, when I didn’t even look at a scale and life was just pink clouds and fluffy unicorns. I was skinny, I didn’t cared about body image and I wore insane wardrobe combinations that I wouldn’t even dare look at today.

When someone told me they were thirty I used to look at them in shock thinking just how old they are and now I wish I was thirty.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not old at forty four but I do need my daily dose of collagen, my supplements for joints, vitamin D, magnesium and zinc and no breakfast in the morning. I need to moisturise so my skin won’t feel dry as sandpaper and my face needs an ice cube in the morning not to look puffy. I have to workout so I won’t get depressed and also to maintain myself at an acceptable level of health.

I need to watch what I eat so my cholesterol won’t sky rocket just as my resting heart rate and I have to dye my hair every three weeks so my greys won’t take over (I am definitely not ready to embrace my grey look).

There are days when I wake up and already feel exhausted, my hips are hurting, ankles are clicking and I need a good stretching session to just be able to move freely.

Also, have you noticed how the conversations with your husband/partner/friends are slightly shifting? “How’s your shoulder today?” “Aren’t you due for an eye test? ” “Shall we have an early night?” “I need to call my GP, get a full check up as I’ve started feeling funny lately” “Perimenopause is real. Hot flushes are killing me, I feel super cold though and oh, the migraines and mood swings are a pain in the behind”

I don’t want to think about it but it’s all on my door step 🤷🏼‍♀️ can’t ignore it!

I could pretend I forgot my age 🤔 I mean, my mind is playing tricks on me anyways. I cannot remember why I picked my phone, what did I want from the kitchen? Why am I here? Have I paid for my daughter’s classes? What day is today? Have I replied to that email?

Thank God for coffee ☕